Welcome Mudita Nisker and Dan Clurman, authors of Let's Talk, An Essential Guide to Skillful Communication. Mudita and Dan have been teaching people how to communicate effectively for over 40 years, so there is serious wisdom in this episode. As Mudita points out, changing how you communicate can change your entire way of perceiving and relating to others. It is a profound practice, and it’s one each of us is already involved in, so we may as well get better at it!
With that in mind, the entire episode is really one long practice of communication, with Mudita and Dan reflecting back our own questions and habits. They skillfully unpack these key principles:
how to give feedback
loop communication and the art of becoming more aware of how we affect the other person
how to avoid “flooding” other people, and instead “chunk” your delivery
the life-changing skill of reflective listening as a way to understand another’s perspective and foster connection
positive intentions and the way this brings caring into the mix
the importance of “provisionality,” ie, using language that acknowledges the possibility of change
the skill of framing and how to work with emotionally triggering subjects
understanding whether to talk or listen in the first place!
Communication shapes how we get along with others, how we achieve our goals, and ultimately is core way to add more peace and compassion into the world.
Such a fun and bouncy conversation, like improvising with two jazz pianists.
Thank you Mudita and Dan!
The Afterparty
Communication is what we do, and it’s something many of us also do very poorly! In this Afterparty, we talk about the various unconscious crutches we use while hanging out with others and what it might look like to connect in a more open-ended way. We also riff on the way good conversation is a kind of agreement, a world we construct that we then get to play inside! This is very different than seeing language as a route to discovering what is objectively true.
*In an effort to sustain our antics and continue paying our producer Timmy, the Afterparty will move behind ye old paywall…soon. Please join us if you can!
That’s all for now! Thanks for tuning in & see you next week.
Love always,
🧘🏽♀️ Tasha & Jeff 🧘🏼♂️
Dan & Muditas Links:
How to Communicate with Mudita Nisker and Dan Clurman