Damn, this podcast brought up some stuff! I am half Swedish and half Ojibwe et al. (a lot of that little "et al." bit being more Swedish), and I am, as of late, beginning to realize how much confusion and pain I have internalized from my Ojibwe side. A ton of this comes from the fact that I am one of the (if not the) palest people I know, and my dark hair and eyes are not dark enough to be unmistakably Native. I grew up extremely poor, but I did not grow up on the reservation. A good week meant we could afford ketchup to put on our onion sandwiches (to this day, I cannot eat raw onions), some weeks, I would have just ketchup sandwiches--and if we had mustard, that was a real treat! But I did not grow up on the reservation. I grew up judged and bullied because, to my family's dismay, I was always proud to tell people I was part Native, so a lot of kids weren't allowed to play with dirty and now-even-lower-than-white-trash me. But I did not grow up on the reservation. I have always sort of felt like I didn't belong anywhere (it didn't help that my mom has never wanted or liked me) and cried throughout this meditation. I am finding it hard to stop because I am realizing how much I hate my skin (and me). I listened to a podcast on Substack by Zaid Ishmail yesterday about the importance of understanding how one's cultural upbringing can help create one's basis of imposter syndrome, and now this. I think the Universe is trying to tell me I need to work on something! Thank you for yet another great podcast and for talking about ADHD because that is in my alphabet soup too. You guys seriously crack me up! 😂
Wow. Thank you so much for sharing that. ❤️ So much trauma and pain and resilience and survival. I had no idea you were mixed! It’s wonderful to know we have that confusion in common too 😂
I will definitely be digging more into this subject in our Bodhisavage sits soon. Making sense of and integrating the mixed-person experience has been the ongoing work of my lifetime. I think we’re incredibly lucky to get to walk this path, but damn… it ain’t easy 😅 thanks as always, for taking the time to share your practice with us 🙏🏽
It's funny because I'm 47 years old and I still feel like I didn't earn the title of being called a mixed person. I just feel like whatever I have gone through pales (literally) in comparison to everyone else. Thank you so much for your kind words, they mean a lot! (Now you've got me tearing up again. 😂) ❤️
Damn, this podcast brought up some stuff! I am half Swedish and half Ojibwe et al. (a lot of that little "et al." bit being more Swedish), and I am, as of late, beginning to realize how much confusion and pain I have internalized from my Ojibwe side. A ton of this comes from the fact that I am one of the (if not the) palest people I know, and my dark hair and eyes are not dark enough to be unmistakably Native. I grew up extremely poor, but I did not grow up on the reservation. A good week meant we could afford ketchup to put on our onion sandwiches (to this day, I cannot eat raw onions), some weeks, I would have just ketchup sandwiches--and if we had mustard, that was a real treat! But I did not grow up on the reservation. I grew up judged and bullied because, to my family's dismay, I was always proud to tell people I was part Native, so a lot of kids weren't allowed to play with dirty and now-even-lower-than-white-trash me. But I did not grow up on the reservation. I have always sort of felt like I didn't belong anywhere (it didn't help that my mom has never wanted or liked me) and cried throughout this meditation. I am finding it hard to stop because I am realizing how much I hate my skin (and me). I listened to a podcast on Substack by Zaid Ishmail yesterday about the importance of understanding how one's cultural upbringing can help create one's basis of imposter syndrome, and now this. I think the Universe is trying to tell me I need to work on something! Thank you for yet another great podcast and for talking about ADHD because that is in my alphabet soup too. You guys seriously crack me up! 😂
Wow. Thank you so much for sharing that. ❤️ So much trauma and pain and resilience and survival. I had no idea you were mixed! It’s wonderful to know we have that confusion in common too 😂
I will definitely be digging more into this subject in our Bodhisavage sits soon. Making sense of and integrating the mixed-person experience has been the ongoing work of my lifetime. I think we’re incredibly lucky to get to walk this path, but damn… it ain’t easy 😅 thanks as always, for taking the time to share your practice with us 🙏🏽
It's funny because I'm 47 years old and I still feel like I didn't earn the title of being called a mixed person. I just feel like whatever I have gone through pales (literally) in comparison to everyone else. Thank you so much for your kind words, they mean a lot! (Now you've got me tearing up again. 😂) ❤️
I listened to Jo Confino’s interview with her on “The Way Out is In” - very thought-provoking and eye-opening, in a great way. Can’t wait for this!